We are living in a time when worldly behavior has spread into the Church, and is growing. One way to fight against it is by not becoming a part of a fellowship that embraces the Truth so loosely, although it still seems to sneak in while we are not looking.

Divorce is something that affects all or us. We may either know someone who is in the process of separation and divorce, or you may have experienced it yourself, either as a Christian or when you were an unbeliever. The unfortunate thing is that even if you are a firm believer that marriage is “‘til death do us part,” divorce can happen to the best of us; because while divorce slipped into the Church, so did all the perverted sins of the world that often causes it.

In an attempt to hold a high view of marriage, Christians often react negatively to those who divorce, regardless of the reason for the divorce. Some classify all divorce as great sin and all who are divorced as great sinners. The divorced are often denied church membership, encouraged to leave the church, gossiped about, or they are quietly ignored until they leave on their own. This topic is the seed that has grown in me to a point of wanting to write about it. I hate divorce and I hold God’s standards for marriage, but have found myself as having great compassion for the families who have gone through it or are considering it.

Sometimes Christians react to the word divorce as they would if someone yelled, “Snake!” They either leap away in fear, or attack the source of the threat. But if someone tells you she is planning to divorce, please be sure you really understand all that is happening in her life before you respond. The roots of marital conflict go very deep, and can be very destructive, and it is wrong to make quick judgments about who is “guilty” and who is “innocent” in a divorce when we cannot see the complete picture. Some situations may seem very clear, such as when one spouse has had an affair. Certainly, there is a distinction to be made between those who wrongfully initiate a divorce and those who are forced into it by a faithless mate. But in nearly all cases a deeper, more careful look will reveal years of complex, negative interaction leading up to the present trouble. Judging another person’s life and problems can be very shortsighted and is in no way helpful to them. I believe in the proverb that says, “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”

Rather than immediately reacting negatively to the word divorce, you would be wise to listen to her carefully. Follow the directive in James 1:19 to “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Besides knowing what the scriptures teach, even when there has been physical, emotional or sexual abuse involved, don’t merely base your understanding on a few isolated verses. Pray that God will draw very close to them as they sort through their dilemma. If she has sincerely sought to honor the Lord in making her decision, respect her, even though you might personally disagree with her choice of action. However, if she is willfully disobeying the Lord, hold firmly to God’s standard and tell her that she has made a wrong choice. Even then, balance your opposition to her decision with compassion and love.

We are called to “overcome evil with good.” Continue to be a friend. You can be God’s servant in your friend’s life. It’s what I believe God would have you do.

by Donna Martin of Kindred Spirits
A ministry of Kindred Spirits Journal &
www.biblicalwomanhood.org

“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4,5

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

Posted under Christianity, Single Mothers