As a single mother raising 3 daughters alone, I have always felt that the church- Christians- should do all they can to help single mothers stay at home and homeschool their children, and have written a lot about it on my blog over time. I could not believe that God would want a church to turn their backs on a mother trying to rear her children for the Lord. I could not believe that God would approve of churches turning their backs on little children who had gone through so much. I could not fathom that God wanted these precious little children to be handed over to satan in public schools. (The church is to protect every soul there.) I stepped back from this subject for a long time to pray, observe, and let the Lord teach my heart. I wanted to be sure that my convictions are in line with the Word of God, not my own agenda. More than anything, God’s Word is the most important thing to me.

I have talked extensively with my pastor about this subject, especially the passage regarding widows in I Timothy 5:3-16. During the summer, we both listened to a series of messages by John MacArthur on the Grace to You radio broadcast that addressed this topic. (I did not link to it at the time because I wanted to hear my pastor’s series on it first.) Bro. MacArthur believes that the word “widow” includes any woman that has no husband to provide for and protect her, whether he is gone due to death or divorce. He explained that “the number” (v. 9) is a group of women over 60 who vowed to serve the church for the rest of their life, while the church totally supports them. These are women whose own families could not or would not provide for them. Bro. MacArthur believes that the young widows are certainly to be cared for, but they are not to make a vow not to marry and sign up for this list of service, because sooner or later they will desire to be married, and will break their vow to serve the church. Bro. MacArthur shared many passages in the OT and NT about caring for the widows, the orphans, the fatherless (those without a father in their life), the poor, the needy, and what great judgment would fall those who turned from them. In short, God does not intend for deserted women and/or deserted children to be ignored by their brothers and sisters in Christ.

My pastor doesn’t completely agree with Bro. MacArthur, even though he highly respects the man. I appreciate this about my pastor, that he doesn’t let personal feelings get in the way of interpreting Scripture as he sees fit. My pastor does not believe that the word “widow” in the Greek or Hebrew includes a divorced woman. He feels that the list of women were women whose vow was not to marry ever again, and these women would devote their service to the church. The younger women were instructed to remarry, because in those times, the deceased man’s brother was supposed to marry her. She had options and wouldn’t need the church to help her. Even though he doesn’t believe the I Timothy 5 passage includes divorced women, my pastor firmly believes that if there is such a woman who needs help of any kind, this would fall under the church helping those who are of the household of faith. He says that even though she is not a widow, it is no excuse for the church not to help these women. He further states that helping a mother stay at home with her children is helping a sister in Christ to obey Scripture (Titus 2:3-5). My pastor preaches often that women are to be keepers at home, and he firmly holds that homeschooling is the best and safest mode of education for Christian children today. It is not just a lifestyle.

I personally feel that Bro. MacArthur’s teaching makes more sense than anything I have ever heard. I am so thankful for the teachings of my pastor too, because it has opened a family member’s eyes even further to our needs and the honorable ministry of a mother. Seeing God work in my life opened this heart first while I tried to faithfully obey God despite the circumstances, but the teachings have help solidify it and give even more respect from this person. Godly stay at home moms are not lazy and selfish. They are serving the Lord just as much as a pastor or missionary is in their callings. We desperately need teaching like this in our churches today.

God has taught me so many things over my adult years, but even more during these years as a single mom. I’m so grateful for the lessons the Lord has taught me, even though it meant going through some very hard times. One big thing the Lord has taught me is to look to Him for help and not other people. I believe with all my heart that Christians should help mothers to stay at home with their children, especially single mothers, and also to help them homeschool them. I believe that rearing children, no matter their ages, is the real ministry that God has for mothers. Children thrive when they have godly mothers to spend their days with. The public schools are just about completely given over to the devil, and churches ought to try to keep these innocent little ones out of there. If they don’t help them now, they may end up trying to undo all these things when the teenager is in big trouble and the family is in a mess. Over and over again in personal situations during the last couple of years, I have seen how Christian kids are being polluted in public schools. Some of it is unbelievable. I believe that souls are literally at stake. Children’s eternity is at stake. Heaven or hell.

But there will be people who will disappoint you, because they don’t share these convictions. Perhaps it has never occurred to them what a single mother and her children go through. Before I was a single mother, I never gave it any thought. When it happened to me, God sent people in my former church and also outside my congregation to be so good and kind to me until I could get on my feet. They blessed me in countless ways. I have also been very hurt at times when I felt let down by others. But God has proven over and over again that if I’m doing what He says to do, He will provide for me and my children, and He will protect us when it seems we have no one to cover us. He has made rivers in the desert and provided miracles when there was no hope nor human help possible. God has shown me that I need to depend on Him and not others, even though others should certainly help. He has shown that He is orchestrating everything in my life, even huge disappointments and losses. He has shown me that He has a great reason when He closes every door. He never takes anything away without giving something far better. I wish I could go back to certain times and just lean on Him instead of becoming desperate, clutching and clawing my way out of the pit.

If you are struggling, I want to encourage you to go to God the Father with all your needs and wait on Him. It is very hard and can be very terrifying, I know. I’ve been there and still struggle with it. Times are so much easier for me now then they were in the beginning, but I have moments where I scared and worried. If you have never read the biography of George Mueller, you simply must! Mr. Mueller ran an orphanage in Britain, but never advertised his needs. He simply prayed. On many occasions there would be no food on the table, but Mr. Mueller would simply pray, thanking God for the food, and someone would show up at the door. That’s what I call real faith! God hands are the hands of His people, and He works through them to minister to us, but we should go straight to Him in the utmost confidence. After all, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills! He owns the universe, and He can provide us with ANYTHING! People will disappoint you, or may not even notice your needs, but God never will. I have found that I may not be able to convince people to believe like me, but God will send people that do believe in the same way and will provide through them. Just go straight to the top and talk to the One who owns it all!

I will be linking to some outside resources in the next post.

Janet
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14