The Return of the DaughtersLast week a friend loaned me The Return of the Daughters DVD. I had wanted to watch it for some time and was so thrilled to get a chance to see it.

The Return of the Daughters is a documentary discussing how many Christian daughters are rejecting the normal expectation to leave home in order to attend college or to pursue independent pursuits after completing high school. These girls are electing to stay home and serve their fathers, to further his ministry or occupation, while preparing to be homemakers in their own homes someday. The term “serve” may be offensive to some, but it is not a negative term. Just as a public official is serving his community, a daughter can serve to bless her home and others by remaining at home after high school.

First of all, the documentary was very professionally made. The cinematography was excellent and the music beautiful. The film was hosted by the Botkin sisters, co-authors of So Much More. These sisters are very smart, professional, and articulate. The film interviews several young ladies and their family members regarding how they came to their decision for the daughter to stay home during her years before marriage. The daughters were extremely talented and intelligient. These families represented several different situations, which was refreshing. After watching the first interview, I was afraid that everyone else would be well-to-do, but that was not the case. There were daughters featured whose fathers had businesses or ministries in which the daughters could assist. There were also daughters whose fathers did not have a business or ministry, yet these families demonstrated how the principle of staying home was fleshed out in their situations. One young lady spent her time helping everyone she could in her church, as well as mentoring the teenage girls coming behind her. One girl had a home business in keeping with the Proverbs 31 woman. Each situation was beautiful to see!

The film makes its case beautifully in many ways and by many arguments as to the reasons why a daughter may want to remain with her family during these years. One reason is that for hundreds of years, daughters always remained home with their families until marriage. They were much safer there and could help their families in multitudes of ways. They could prepare themselves for their own home one day. Even if they never married, they would still probably have their own home to keep some day. Another reason given is that it makes more sense for a child to help their fathers succeed rather than help a complete stranger become wealthy. How beautiful it is to see families work together for the common good!

I loved this documentary; it echoed so many thoughts and convictions that I have had for my own three daughters for many years. I became a born-again Christian around age 7 and have been very active in church since then. In all those years, both in church and in a Christian school for 4 years, I never remember being told about Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. These Scriptures were so foreign to me when I married. We were constantly being counseled to go to a Christian college and to find the career path that God wanted for us. It was not discussed that the Bible says that Christian women are to “guard the home” (I Timothy 5:14), to “look well to the ways of her household” (Proverbs 31:27), and to be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:3-5). I started going my present church 2 1/2 years ago, where it is consistently taught what God’s plan of ministry is for women. It is such a joy to be in a place that holds to the Bible in this area. I believe it is vital because a godly wife/mother shapes the Christian home, the church, and the nation. There is no greater impact she could have on this world and for the Kingdom of God! NONE! Proverbs 31:29 says it best: “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all” (emphasis mine).

I need to state that I don’t believe that a college education for daughters is sinful. I think furthering one’s education should continue for all of life whether through college or teaching yourself through the multitude of learning opportunities we have today. However, I do think that Christian parents should think twice and very seriously about sending their daughters out of town, where they cannot watch after them. (After all, no one will watch after your child like you will.) Even in a Christian college, you are relinquishing everything about your daughter’s life to that college, including their safety. There is also the issue of the high price of colleges. It makes no sense to run up huge debts for college expenses which make the daughter almost have to leave her children in order to pay them back, or forces the daughter’s mother into work to pay for her college. Just because it is considered the norm to send children away to colleges, make sure it’s God’s will. Be willing to seek HIM and obey HIM no matter what the cost.

There are so many ways that daughters serving their families can manifest itself in each home. In a single mother’s home like mine, the daughters could help their mother’s home businesses. In any home daughters could attend local college or college through the internet, so that they remain under their parents’ oversight and not run up huge debts. Daughters can minister freely to members of their church before the responsibility of their own homes makes it hard, if not impossible. So many elderly people need to be visited, new or harried mothers need assistance, and the sick needs meals brought to them and chores done.

There are those who vehemently disagree with the concepts shared in the film. I would like to ask, What is more biblical, sending your daughters to the wolves of this world as Bro. Voddie Baucham argues in this film, or preparing her for her future home that the Bible says she is responsible for? Sending them to someone else’s authority or allowing them to minister in their church? Are you willing to seek His will and obey it no matter what the culture dictates to us is normal?

There are also a lot of women concerned with “What if my daughter ends up widowed or divorce? How can she care for herself and her family without a college education?” As a single mother I can testify, and so many other single mothers I know will agree, that God will make a way. He will provide for her first through you, then through other Christians, and perhaps through a home business. I think it’s a wise thing to teach a daughter something she can use to earn money from home, whether she is married or ends up single again. This can be taught through college or apprenticeship. Even if she becomes single again through death or divorce, it does not negate the responsibility that God has given a woman in the home. In fact, children will need their mother more in those situations.

I highly recommend The Return of the Daughters. You may not agree with this film and its concepts, but if you have a receptive heart, it will give you something to pray about and to search the Scriptures for.

Janet
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14