“What really does work to increase the feeling of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping. Housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel in your home.

“Whether you live alone or with a spouse, parents, and ten children, it is your housekeeping that makes your home alive, that turns it into a small society in its own right, a vital place with its own ways and rhythms, the place where you can be more yourself than you can be anywhere else.”
—Cheryl Mendelson, Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House

I found the above quote at Morning Cuppas With Glenys. Glenys is a Titus 2 woman who truly understand the biblical calling of women to their families and homes. I always find encouragement, refreshment, and grounding when I visit her blog.

I have very frustrated lately with trying to balance homemaking and a home business. Even though I’m a single mother, I feel very strongly that my first obligation is to my girls and my home as a homemaker. A homemaker is just that—she makes a home for her family. She is not a maid or a slave to her family. But she serves her family with love and attends to their needs selflessly. She is there for whatever they need.

This year has been one of the worst years for our finances and for my business. Medical bills and the economic situation have taken a toll. When the recession began, I chuckled at folks who were upset that they couldn’t eat out or have the luxuries that they were accustomed to, because I’ve lived like this my whole life. It is nothing new to me! (Like my aunt says, we don’t have far to fall! ) I honestly didn’t think that the recession could touch us, because we were used to doing without what everyone else considered necessary. I also thought that a website designing business would still profit, since we are living in the technology age, and having a website is extremely important for businesses. But the requests did not come, even though my prices are much more moderate than other designers. There have been quite a few inquiries lately, but so many business owners are saying they don’t have the money right now. That is quite frightening to me!

I’ve had the temptation to pour hours into my business in an effort to provide for my family, but I got off balance. I was extremely unhappy, and my efforts did nothing. I’ve had to step back and go back to the beginning, to the Bible, to see what God says. God still says my priority is to be a keeper at home. God still says for me to trust in Him to provide. He still says “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). I want to be like the Proverbs 31 lady who had a home business, but spent most of her time on her family and home. That’s where her focus was.

Because I also must work, I’ve developed a strategy to help me wear all my hats. I get extremely frustrated that I can’t be just a mom and homemaker. I’m afraid I’ve spun my wheels so many times over the years and didn’t accomplish as much as I needed to. I’ve had to find a way to allow me to mentally and peacefully handle everything. I find I have to focus on one thing at a time or I just go crazy. I conduct our homeschooling in the mornings, where all my attention is on the girls and their schooling. In the afternoons is time for my housework, rest, exercise, preparing supper, etc., while the girls complete any schoolwork they need to do on their own. If they need help, I give it, but if it’s an extended problem, it has to wait until the next morning. After supper is my business time, where I devote all my attention to my clients. Sometimes I get frustrated that I can’t just watch TV in the evenings like most people do, but I do work better in the evenings, and I’ve given myself permission to do it occasionally. I don’t usually attend events at night during the week. I am trying to have a specific cut off time to shower, relax, and read until bedtime, but sometimes I don’t get nothing but the shower.:)

I need a lot of motivation. To motivate me for homeschooling, I enjoy reading homeschooling websites. To motivate me for work, I like to read computer blogs and newsletters. After work, I like to read homemaking websites and blogs that help me resettle into my job as mother, and motivate me to get up the next day to tackle it all again.:) Cooking shows on the Food Network really help me get excited about cooking when I lose interest.

My daughters help me tremendously. They have a lot of chores to do each day. They are surprised when they hear of kids who don’t know how to work. (We find our days go better when chores are done before homeschooling starts.) I do not allow my girls to do everything here, because I don’t want them to resent me or the housework. I still feel the house is my responsibility. But since I have so much on me, I have determined the following are the most important for me to handle, while the girls fill in much of the rest: good, nutritious meals, quality homeschooling, and my website designing work. I do keep my own room and bathroom clean, and supervise the girls with all their chores. I organize things that need it, and help my 2 oldest keep the yards mowed during the growing season. I also spend a good bit of time preparing my coupons and grocery shopping weekly. The girls help me by cutting out the coupons. The girls do cook a lot, but I try not to ask them to do it unless I really need their help.

I must admit, I still flounder and fail, and stay exhausted. I really struggle getting everything done everyday. I’m still trying to keep everything balanced. Financially we are struggling hard, but it has been worse. If it was not for my sweetheart Tim and my father helping us with finances and needs, and multiple car repairs, I don’t know where we’d be! Hopefully, 2010 will be a much better year for everyone. I keep praying that God will allow His people to prosper in a special way as a testimony to the world, just as He allowed the Israelites to flourish even while captive in Egypt.