Mothering




“On a chilly night when the family will arrive home cold and weary, see that the table has a bright cloth and add, perhaps, some fresh evergreens in a low container as a centerpiece. Don’t ever think of husband and children as ‘just the family.’ Fuss a bit for them and you will be rewarded. Be sure the silver is straight and even at each place, and the napkins folded neatly. Make each meal the most important task you have ever undertaken. See that all the family members eat at the same time if possible. This is an important factor for a growing family, for nothing can take the place of togetherness. And when your children have grown up and look back to these memories, a glow will fill their hearts that will spill over into their own family life.”

Thyra Ferré Bjorn, The Home Has a Heart

A couple of months ago, I was inspired to do something about our breakfasts. Since we have so much to do in the mornings, cereal was almost a constant fixture for our morning meal. After reading Anna’s post on breakfasts, I have been making more effort, while keeping things as simple as possible. I try to always include some sort of protein. Our breakfasts meals have included homemade blueberry muffins, scrambled eggs, and juice; cooked grits with ham cut up in it, fresh fruit, juice; cereal, ham, and juice; pancakes, bacon, fruit, and juice. When we went through times where there was no time for me to cook, my oldest said, “What happened to our good meals?”:) I try to set the table with placemats and cloth napkins that I purchased at the thrift store. They don’t really match my decor, but I guess that makes it shabby chic.:) Guests feel so spoiled and pampered when they eat at our table with these simple touches. I find that my daughters try harder to be careful about spills and their manners when the table is nicely set.

Today’s breakfast was biscuits with pear honey or blueberry jam, sausage patties, and orange juice. I am still not good at making biscuits, so these were the store-bought frozen ones. I will keep trying though! I think it’s important to cook from scratch as much as possible because of health issues mainly, but also due to food costs.

Breakfast
As the above quote says, you will be rewarded when you sacrifice for your family and do your best. My daughters appreciate what I do for them and show it to me, oftentimes with sweet little letters or kind comments. If I’m overwhelmed with my business or other things, or am tired, my middle daughter will make delicious meals, putting together things I don’t think of and setting a nice table. My oldest daughter will cheerfully fix anything I ask of her. She’s always glad to help. My youngest is just getting into fixing simple things for me now. It is awesome to watch my baby grow into a young lady.

By the way, it pays off to teach your children how to cook and keep house. I was very ill back in February and could not cook, let alone eat. My daughters cooked all the meals and did the housework and their lessons without me. They told me that it was a good thing that I had taught them to cook; they realized that it was a good and valuable thing. It was in that moment that I realized that all the years of hard work (mostly alone) is paying off. I thank you, my dear Lord.



Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14



Soaring food prices elicit creative solutions from moms
Moms’ new battle: The food price bulge

Beyond clipping coupons, families are embracing generic grocery brands, and making their own baby food and detergent.

There are excellent stories, tips, and comments here:

More expensive to eat

Tell us how rising food costs — from milk to meat — are affecting you and your food choices. Show us what food prices are like in your neighborhood and local markets. Open up your fridge, cabinets and grocery bags for photos and videos and give us a taste of how you’re dealing with higher food costs.



Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14



I read The Home Has a Heart by Thyra Ferré Bjorn many years ago as a new mother and dearly loved it. I had to return it to its owner then, but finally have my own copy now. I am thoroughly delighting in re-reading it through fresh eyes. Written in 1968, The Home Has a Heart is a cookbook and so much more. Each chapter represents a month of the year and there are stories or wisdom shared about that month. I love reading how women endured hardships gracefully in the past or ran their homes efficiently, and there are many of these stories in the book. After the stories is a sample menu that Swedish ladies would have served in their homes, along with the recipes for them. Then each chapter closes with a “Gold Nugget”, which is advice about the family, advice on homemaking, or perhaps advice for spiritual activities in your home.

For example, chapter 2 describes February, the month to celebrate love. The author shares a story of how her mother’s father showed her love by disciplining her. The mother then told her daughter of how she blessed her father for his discipline because he knew she would have children one day and would need to teach them right. The daughter (the book’s author) told her mother that she had indeed brought her up right, because she “never let me get away with things.” There is lots of wisdom in this chapter about loving our children and keeping vigil over their souls and characters. The menu in this chapter is crisply fried bacon and sausage, potato patties, lingonberries, pickled cucumber, hard tack (bread) and butter, apple-kaka with vanilla sauce for dessert, and coffee or tea, and milk as beverages. After the recipes, Mrs. Bjorn adds, “Let every February be a happy month and serve lots of smiles with every meal.”

What I love about this book is the passion it portrays for the family and home. There are so many wonderful quotes that bless me. Here are a few:

“A long time ago– so many years ago that I could almost write “once upon a time”– the pride of a woman’s life was her home. Cooking to her was an art and even though there were few fancy ingredients readily available, she had a magic tough. By taking a pinch of this and a handful of that, using so many shakes and so many strokes, she would create in her mixing bowl a substance that, when baked in a wood stove without temperature control, would come out to perfection. But the biggest ingredient, always sprinkled liberally into all mixtures, was love. And the atmosphere that surrounded the cook was one of gratefulness– for being alive, being married, having a large family to cook for, a house to live in, and pots and pans and all the other household tools to work with. The home did not need to be furnished elaborately. It had other attributes– the aroma of bread baking in the oven, the smell of soup simmering on the stove, the scent of delicately spiced meats. These were the things that made the menfolk set their feet toward home when day was done and brought the children bouncing into the kitchen tired and happy from play.

“That housewife did not need to use rouge on her cheeks. The roses painted there were done by Mother Nature and contained the glow of love and excitement.

“Yes, that was a different life from the one in our push-button world of today; it had room for peace and gentleness and togetherness. Thankfulness was a virtue and those people possessed it; they knew how to appreciate life. Those women did not have the education of today’s housewife, but they did possess wisdom and with that key they unlocked the wonders of each new day. And in spite of all they had to do, they seemed to have time left over just to sit and think and dream and be happy.” (Chapter 1, p. 23-24)

~~~*~~~

“It is fine to have a system. A home is as important as any business firm and how smoothly would a business run if it did not have a system?

“If we neglect our homes, we sin against them. There are so many things for a good housekeeper to do, but the chores can be fun. I feel as though I am playing a game, and every day I thank God for the privilege of being a homemaker. I think a home that is loved reflects a spirit of joy. And a very rewarding part of homemaking is planning the right foods for a family.” (Chapter 2, p. 26-27)

~~~*~~~

“In March it is wise to clean cupboards, and cabinets. The closets need a good airing and all the clothes need to be hung on the line in the backyard.” (Chapter 3, p. 33.)

Along with a recipe for Swedish Plättar, which is a type of pancake, Mrs. Bjorn shares memories of her mother making them. She says,

“A when you eat your plättar, think of eight children standing in line refilling their plates over and over again and of a Mama who was never too tired to make as many as her little ones could eat.” (Chapter 3, pg. 35)

~~~*~~~

I plan to add more quotes as I have time. They are very uplifting and encouraging for mothers and homemakers. Please do so get a copy for yourself and plan to highlight, as I have done.:) You can purchase it for less than $2.00 on Amazon.com. I plan to collect more copies for my daughters and for ladies that are dear to me. I also would like to get the other books that Mrs. Bjorn has written.


Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14



Passionate Housewives Desperate for God: Fresh Vision for the Hopeful HomemakerA few weeks ago, I finished reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God: Fresh Vision for the Hopeful Homemaker. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book and highly recommend it for every Christian woman, no matter her station. My book is covered with highlights, and I actually used up a highlighter while reading! There are so many quotes I wish I could share, but cannot. I do have permission to share some of them here.

Years ago when I listened to Elisabeth Elliot, I developed and kept a vision of the ministry that I have in my home, but over the years I lost the joy and the sense of servant hood for my ministry. I prayed several weeks ago for the Lord to restore that joy. He did in a surprising way, through Passionate Housewives. I thought it would encourage me, but I didn’t know how much so!

When I saw the title Desperate for God, I thought to myself that I didn’t need God or some spiritual teachings to make my home what it needed to be; I needed something practical. I was so wrong! Passionate Housewives points the Christian woman over and over to the Lord. I realized how very much indeed it was a spiritual thing that I needed. Passionate Housewives is immersed in Bible verses and references, which I love. I often had my Bible handy as I read. (The book uses KJV and NKJV as references.) Passionate Housewives helped me get back the servant’s heart and the joy that I had so long ago lost.

Passionate Housewives is written by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald, who both are mothers of several children. The book starts out with several endorsements that really caught my eye and convinced me that I needed to read it. Among them are Martha Peace, Vickie Farris, Michelle Duggar, and Valerie Shepard, daughter of Elisabeth Elliot. Following that are a few pages of acknowledgements and then the preface, which can be read here.

Chapter one is entitled “The Other Side of the Street” and is a fictional story of a woman who has lost her joy and vision of her ministry in the home. Boy, I could see myself in her at times! This story is such a wonderful idea for the book in that so many women can relate to it. “Carolyn” has a visit from a neighbor, which does not go well and leaves a poor image of a stay-at-home mother. “Her eyes burned with tears as the enemy of her soul pointed to the vast array of pleasures and accolades that could have been hers (Matthew 4:8-9). If only she would listen to her heart (Jeremiah 17:9), he whispered, she could be free from all of this drudgery. ‘What is it?’ she cried inwardly. ‘What am I missing? What’s wrong with me?’”

The next chapter is called “You Mean It’s Not All About Me?” The verse from 2 Corinthians 5:15 could probably be said to be the theme of the entire book: “And that He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them, and rose again.” This verse has really made an impact on my life as a mother and homemaker.

When addressing “me time” in this chapter, Stacy McDonald says, “Please understand that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these things, as long as we understand that we don’t need them to be content or healthy and that we aren’t somehow deprived if we don’t get them. There are many ways we can relax and enjoy ourselves when God gives us opportunity, but to feverishly pursue solace in worldly leisure and personal pleasure is to run to an empty container… Again, there is nothing sinful about enjoying the blessings that God places in our paths.” I was afraid that the book would suggest that it is wrong for a mother to seek out relaxation after a busy day, etc. But it was basically saying that a mother should not seek to hurry up with the care of her family in order for her to get to do “her stuff” Nor should a woman resent her family when they interrupt her doing “her stuff”. (I do believe every mother needs a time of relaxation daily- to read, to rest, to do a hobby. But she should not run over her family or neglect her duties in a drive to satisfy herself.)

Other noteworthy quotes from chapter two include “The enemy of our souls knows that if he can’t convince us that God’s ways are wrong, he can at least try to convince us that we’ve misunderstood what God has said.” I also loved “To recognize our purpose in motherhood, we must see the godly generations beyond our own children” and “It means impacting future generations by our faithfulness now.” Being a mom is far from drudgery when you think about it like this!

Chapter three was “Embracing Your Sacred Calling” and really encourages the Christian mom to understand that her role in the home is a sacred role and “[h]er ministry is her family.” It begins with a quote I love by Martin Luther: “What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flows.” Dorothy Patterson was also quoted in this chapter as saying the following:

“Of course, much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else’s and not your own.”

(More of Mrs. Patterson’s writings can be found at The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective.)

Another one of the many wonderful quotes in this chapter is “Our Creator has given us women a glorious station where we are to employ and invest the talents He has given us. When we recognize and fully embrace our calling, we are finally free to truly enjoy it; we’re able to experience contentment in the uniqueness of our role and achieve overwhelming victory in our homes and lives!”

“Weary Women” is the name of chapter four and deals with women who are tired and frazzled. It focuses on a woman’s quiet time, dealing with homemaking when we are physically hindered, and judging others by our own lives. I was very surprised to find such a compassionate view on times when a mother cannot commit to reading her Bible and praying for hours on end. I was so encouraged when I realized that my prayers offered up to God all throughout the day and the Bible reading of my family all “count” for my spiritual life. Sometimes mothers, especially those with little children, have such difficulty getting their devotions done without being interrupted. As Stacy says, “We must view serving our families as acts of service to God, rather than as acts that ‘get in the way’ of serving Him.” She also states, “I was in His presence with every diaper I changed, every Bible story I told my children, every meal I prepared, every toilet I cleaned, and every math paper I graded… Jesus was certainly just as holy when He washed the feet of His disciples and healed the sick as when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane… He came to reach out His hands selflessly, and we’re to emulate Him.” I wrote out in the margin, “I am here to serve my family.” This chapter also details how Jesus will satisfy us and fulfill us after we give ourselves selflessly in service to Him by serving our families and doing all we can for them.

Chapter five deals with perfectionism and how women compare themselves to others. Jennie Chancey says, “God does call us to excel in the role He has graciously given us and strive to ‘adorn the gospel’ as we live out God’s commands (Titus 2:10)…. There are so many ways we can strive for excellence as keepers of the home without falling into the trap of perfectionism. We need to keep foremost in our minds the fact that, as people made in God’s image, we must glorify Him– it’s not about us. I like to turn directly to Scripture for my inspiration here.” She goes on to say, “Yes, we want to have clean, well-ordered households, but not at the expense of our relationships with our children or due to our vanity!” Another excellent quote is “I don’t have to do it all! My children don’t have to do it all! We have only to be faithful to serve God in the place He puts us and in the calling He gives us– to obey His Word; to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to faithful train our children to do the same. It gets complicated only when we clutter our expectations with worldly demands and priorities.” It really is simple when we get back to the basics! Jennie also discusses how we need to be humble, admitting our failures or allowing others to help in time of need.

I love the title of chapter six: “Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Housewives.” Jennie discusses how motherhood is not popular anymore and why it is imperative for the Kingdom of God for women to return to and embrace their God-given roles in the home. “The loss of the Christian homemaker is a devastating one– and all the more so because we do not understand what we have lost, nor do we appreciate what it tasks to establish a godly, hospitable home.” “Pastors neatly sweep Titus 2 and I Peter 3 under the rug, assuring us that all those passages were purely cultural and don’t apply to our modern times. Christian teachers urge daughters to follow the career track so they won’t ‘waste’ their God-given talents, making homemaking and child-rearing sound like a last resort or a backwater for women with few talents.” Jennie takes the reader back into the pioneer times when women had it so much harder. Our foremothers “did not have the luxury to dwell upon their shortcomings or fret about how they measured up to everyone else. There just was not the time, and the whole notice of self-pity was roundly condemned…” Jennie addresses the argument that we women don’t have to do all the work pioneer women had to by saying that the work still has to be done and is not going to do itself. “Sure, ‘anyone’ could do it, but God has providentially given it to me to do– and it is my job to see that it’s done right and to train my children to work alongside me.” There are so many other quotes I wish I could share, but I will just add this one: “Why is God’s role for women so important? Because God says when we reject it, we blaspheme His Word (Titus 2:5). That means we essentially tell the world that God doesn’t really mean what He says and doesn’t know what He is doing. ‘We’ve got a better way to save the world, Lord,’ we say.”

Chapter seven deals with the beautiful relationship of the husband and wife, and what each role really means. For those who argue the biblical roles in the home, Jennie Chancey says, “If God’s Word cannot be trusted to give us the straight truth about the created order, then what’s to keep us from discounting other parts of Scripture or picking and choosing what we find ‘rational’ or ‘believable?” Amen, Jennie! “…When we live our respective roles given to us by God, we present to the world a picture of Christ and His Bride, the Church… As women, we have the very noble and awe-inspiring task of showing the world what a ‘glorious church’ looks like as it submits to and honors its Head.” The author describes how a man is to provide for his wife and to lovingly treat her, while the wife is to be his helper, not the man become her helper. She further states, “No talents are wasted in the Kingdom of God, and putting gifts to use in the service of husbands and godly households is not akin to burying talents in the ground.” Jennie details ways a woman can tear down her husband or build him them up “as brothers in Christ.” I found it so refreshing to hear Jennie discuss how husbands can indeed be a woman’s best friend. While women friends have a place, a man and wife should prefer each other’s company above all others; “these friendships are not meant to compete with or take the place of the unique and precious relationship between husband and wife.” As a single woman who has been told in the past that it is wrong to desire a husband, that I should find all my fulfillment in the Lord, I totally agree with the author’s statements about men and women being created to need each other! It is a God-given desire and need!!

Stacy McDonald shares “The Dangers of Whitewashed Feminism” in chapter eight. Whitewashed feminism is a sanitized feminism embraced by some Christians. Stacy examines some of the ideals put forth by these Christians. “These feminists claim to hold Scripture in high regard, yet they do not accept the biblically defined role distinctions between men and women, and they reject male authority to varying degrees. While some ‘evangelical feminists’ admit to their belief in the limited authority of Scriptures regarding their role, others simply try to twist the Bible’s meaning to fit their lifestyle… the biblical directives given to women to be wives, mothers, and keepers of the home are minimized or set aside as quaint but unnecessary options.” Stacy also states that “Many women naively follow individualistic feminist thought right into the arms of corporate America. Instead of being servants to their families, they become slaves to a system that cares nothing about them.” We are encouraged to quit focusing on our rights because “real life comes when we learn to lose ours– for His sake.” I love how this book over and over reminds us that we do what we do in the home because of Christ. It is what He asks of us. It is the example He gave us. We are also pointing people to Him.

In chapter nine, Jennie shares her testimony. She had always wanted to be a mother and homemaker, but went she went to college (that was Christian), she lost her way and fell prey to all the ideals of humanism and feminism. After a few years, she questioned everything she had been raised to believe. As a result, she was very bitter and disappointed with life. She states: “I traded my admiration for my mother’s accomplishments for a determination to succeed on the world’s terms, which meant a nice paycheck and all the goodies that went along with a career– the meals out, the designer clothes, the shiny car. I never stopped to consider the irony of women measuring themselves in terms of their earnings– how was being a wage slave under a boss better than being a free woman under a husband?” God opened her eyes, and as she studied Marxism and Communism, she was “stunned to see the clear parallels between those anti-Christian philosophies and feminism. Writer after writer documented the long-term damage (culturally, economically, and spiritually) of the feminist movement, including ‘no-fault’ divorce, rampant promiscuity, children brought up outside of the family in daycare, growing consumerism, loss of home care for elderly relatives, and the list goes on.” Jennie shares that “biblical womanhood has so much more to offer that you don’t want to waste a minute of time throwing your gifts and talents away on pursuit of your individual goals.”

The next chapter discusses being a slave to Christ. Jennie writes, “Over and over again, Jesus shows us that true living is found in joyfully sacrificing ourselves for others… We are so afraid of becoming the ever-dreaded ‘doormat’ that we don’t even want to consider that God’s ways might just actually bring the joy, peace, and delight we vainly seek. It is time to confront our fear and trust God that what He says is true. It’s time to be passionate housewives who take delight in serving and find that service beautiful and meaningful.” She explains the story of Mary and Martha, which really helped me understand it better. I love her advice on how to approach the tasks we sometimes dislike in our homes: “Life is full of seemingly futile and repetitive tasks…. But you do have a choice about how you approach those tasks… We need to realize that work is a gift from the Lord…. Don’t fear hard work. Embrace it and learn to do it as unto the Lord.” She closes that chapter with verses that I love.

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:37-40)

In chapter eleven Jennie Chancey discusses the many roles and responsibilities of a keeper at home. “It encompasses all kinds of gifts and talents and provides us with an outlet for genuinely purposeful creativity and effort– all within the realm of the full functioning Christian home.” Jennie describes how her mother kept house and was an excellent helpmeet to her husband. What a wonderful example she is for all Christian women! Jennie admits that there are things her mother did that she cannot do, and there will be other families that are talented in areas we are not talented in. “… God is going to equip every family differently so that His Body overflows with gifts on every hand.” I love that! There is no need for women to compare and fret over their families, or to be jealous of other families! Jennie describes how women can obey the Lord in their calling as a homemaker despite imperfect situations. God specializes on those! She encourages women in these hard circumstances. “…What I took as a ‘no’ was the Lord’s gracious working out His will over time and in a way I did not expect… He will also be faithful to you. There is no need to be desperate. Trust Him as you submit to what seems an impossible yoke to bear, and let the peace of God rule in your heart. Pray continually, and ask the Lord to work through your circumstances. He is the God of the impossible.”

Stacy returns to her story that she shared in the beginning of the book, but with a far better outcome. “Carolyn” joyfully embraced her role as a home keeper and was a powerful witness to her neighbor. The story really spoke to my heart as to how I approach my role in the home. I can be a witness to others and bring them to Christ by my testimony and words simply by obeying God in my home. Not only am I evangelizing my children, I can also reach out to other souls through my home ministry. Stacy also shares her testimony, in that she was lured to the Lord by a godly mother and home keeper, just like Carolyn. “This faithful wife revealed to me her true King, Jesus, by esteeming her earthly husband as ‘lord,’ in the way she lived out her days (I Peter 3:6). She did not live her life as if it was her own, and as I watched her, I was utterly amazed. The joy that permeated her nurturing act of service to her family confounded my selfish heart– and melted it. Not only was I ready to listen, but I begged for answers! Her faithful husband, by mirroring the sacrificial love of a King for His bride, revealed to me in living color Christ’s sacrifice for the church. I was able to understand, at least in part, the mysterious love of the Gospel from this man living it out in his home with his wife and children… I was shown the gospel by the winsome scent of hearth and home– and one true-to-life family living it out in all of its ‘everydayness’.” This last chapter ends by reminding us that we are the “artistic sculptor of souls… the resourceful shaper of an expanding kingdom” in our homes. Our homes are to be “a place where spirits are made full and lives are changed forever to the glory of God.”

The book concludes with an afterward in which Jenny explains why it took 2 1/2 years to complete the book, and then there is About the Authors. After that are the Endnotes, which are a must-read as you go through the book. It is full of quotes and other detailed information and sources. I have highlights in there too!

I look my time reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God to savor and think over the concepts there. I highly recommend it and know that I will refer to it often for encouragement. I truly wish I could purchase copies for all the Christian women I know! I hope that Christian women will read it with a surrendered heart, allowing God to work in their lives. If you do, I believe God will change your life forever, and you will gain “fresh vision” for your ministry. Now I have got to loan my copy to some of my friends; I hate to see it go!:)

UPDATE: Today (3/13/08) Stacy and Jennie were interviewed on the FamilyLife Today radio program and will be on again tomorrow. You can hear the broadcast titled Home Sweet Home: The Center of Evangelism or read the transcripts free on the FamilyLife website.



Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14



The Return of the DaughtersLast week a friend loaned me The Return of the Daughters DVD. I had wanted to watch it for some time and was so thrilled to get a chance to see it.

The Return of the Daughters is a documentary discussing how many Christian daughters are rejecting the normal expectation to leave home in order to attend college or to pursue independent pursuits after completing high school. These girls are electing to stay home and serve their fathers, to further his ministry or occupation, while preparing to be homemakers in their own homes someday. The term “serve” may be offensive to some, but it is not a negative term. Just as a public official is serving his community, a daughter can serve to bless her home and others by remaining at home after high school.

First of all, the documentary was very professionally made. The cinematography was excellent and the music beautiful. The film was hosted by the Botkin sisters, co-authors of So Much More. These sisters are very smart, professional, and articulate. The film interviews several young ladies and their family members regarding how they came to their decision for the daughter to stay home during her years before marriage. The daughters were extremely talented and intelligient. These families represented several different situations, which was refreshing. After watching the first interview, I was afraid that everyone else would be well-to-do, but that was not the case. There were daughters featured whose fathers had businesses or ministries in which the daughters could assist. There were also daughters whose fathers did not have a business or ministry, yet these families demonstrated how the principle of staying home was fleshed out in their situations. One young lady spent her time helping everyone she could in her church, as well as mentoring the teenage girls coming behind her. One girl had a home business in keeping with the Proverbs 31 woman. Each situation was beautiful to see!

The film makes its case beautifully in many ways and by many arguments as to the reasons why a daughter may want to remain with her family during these years. One reason is that for hundreds of years, daughters always remained home with their families until marriage. They were much safer there and could help their families in multitudes of ways. They could prepare themselves for their own home one day. Even if they never married, they would still probably have their own home to keep some day. Another reason given is that it makes more sense for a child to help their fathers succeed rather than help a complete stranger become wealthy. How beautiful it is to see families work together for the common good!

I loved this documentary; it echoed so many thoughts and convictions that I have had for my own three daughters for many years. I became a born-again Christian around age 7 and have been very active in church since then. In all those years, both in church and in a Christian school for 4 years, I never remember being told about Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. These Scriptures were so foreign to me when I married. We were constantly being counseled to go to a Christian college and to find the career path that God wanted for us. It was not discussed that the Bible says that Christian women are to “guard the home” (I Timothy 5:14), to “look well to the ways of her household” (Proverbs 31:27), and to be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:3-5). I started going my present church 2 1/2 years ago, where it is consistently taught what God’s plan of ministry is for women. It is such a joy to be in a place that holds to the Bible in this area. I believe it is vital because a godly wife/mother shapes the Christian home, the church, and the nation. There is no greater impact she could have on this world and for the Kingdom of God! NONE! Proverbs 31:29 says it best: “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all” (emphasis mine).

I need to state that I don’t believe that a college education for daughters is sinful. I think furthering one’s education should continue for all of life whether through college or teaching yourself through the multitude of learning opportunities we have today. However, I do think that Christian parents should think twice and very seriously about sending their daughters out of town, where they cannot watch after them. (After all, no one will watch after your child like you will.) Even in a Christian college, you are relinquishing everything about your daughter’s life to that college, including their safety. There is also the issue of the high price of colleges. It makes no sense to run up huge debts for college expenses which make the daughter almost have to leave her children in order to pay them back, or forces the daughter’s mother into work to pay for her college. Just because it is considered the norm to send children away to colleges, make sure it’s God’s will. Be willing to seek HIM and obey HIM no matter what the cost.

There are so many ways that daughters serving their families can manifest itself in each home. In a single mother’s home like mine, the daughters could help their mother’s home businesses. In any home daughters could attend local college or college through the internet, so that they remain under their parents’ oversight and not run up huge debts. Daughters can minister freely to members of their church before the responsibility of their own homes makes it hard, if not impossible. So many elderly people need to be visited, new or harried mothers need assistance, and the sick needs meals brought to them and chores done.

There are those who vehemently disagree with the concepts shared in the film. I would like to ask, What is more biblical, sending your daughters to the wolves of this world as Bro. Voddie Baucham argues in this film, or preparing her for her future home that the Bible says she is responsible for? Sending them to someone else’s authority or allowing them to minister in their church? Are you willing to seek His will and obey it no matter what the culture dictates to us is normal?

There are also a lot of women concerned with “What if my daughter ends up widowed or divorce? How can she care for herself and her family without a college education?” As a single mother I can testify, and so many other single mothers I know will agree, that God will make a way. He will provide for her first through you, then through other Christians, and perhaps through a home business. I think it’s a wise thing to teach a daughter something she can use to earn money from home, whether she is married or ends up single again. This can be taught through college or apprenticeship. Even if she becomes single again through death or divorce, it does not negate the responsibility that God has given a woman in the home. In fact, children will need their mother more in those situations.

I highly recommend The Return of the Daughters. You may not agree with this film and its concepts, but if you have a receptive heart, it will give you something to pray about and to search the Scriptures for.



Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

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