As a single mother raising 3 daughters alone, I have always felt that the church- Christians- should do all they can to help single mothers stay at home and homeschool their children, and have written a lot about it on my blog over time. I could not believe that God would want a church to turn their backs on a mother trying to rear her children for the Lord. I could not believe that God would approve of churches turning their backs on little children who had gone through so much. I could not fathom that God wanted these precious little children to be handed over to satan in public schools. (The church is to protect every soul there.) I stepped back from this subject for a long time to pray, observe, and let the Lord teach my heart. I wanted to be sure that my convictions are in line with the Word of God, not my own agenda. More than anything, God’s Word is the most important thing to me.

I have talked extensively with my pastor about this subject, especially the passage regarding widows in I Timothy 5:3-16. During the summer, we both listened to a series of messages by John MacArthur on the Grace to You radio broadcast that addressed this topic. (I did not link to it at the time because I wanted to hear my pastor’s series on it first.) Bro. MacArthur believes that the word “widow” includes any woman that has no husband to provide for and protect her, whether he is gone due to death or divorce. He explained that “the number” (v. 9) is a group of women over 60 who vowed to serve the church for the rest of their life, while the church totally supports them. These are women whose own families could not or would not provide for them. Bro. MacArthur believes that the young widows are certainly to be cared for, but they are not to make a vow not to marry and sign up for this list of service, because sooner or later they will desire to be married, and will break their vow to serve the church. Bro. MacArthur shared many passages in the OT and NT about caring for the widows, the orphans, the fatherless (those without a father in their life), the poor, the needy, and what great judgment would fall those who turned from them. In short, God does not intend for deserted women and/or deserted children to be ignored by their brothers and sisters in Christ.

My pastor doesn’t completely agree with Bro. MacArthur, even though he highly respects the man. I appreciate this about my pastor, that he doesn’t let personal feelings get in the way of interpreting Scripture as he sees fit. My pastor does not believe that the word “widow” in the Greek or Hebrew includes a divorced woman. He feels that the list of women were women whose vow was not to marry ever again, and these women would devote their service to the church. The younger women were instructed to remarry, because in those times, the deceased man’s brother was supposed to marry her. She had options and wouldn’t need the church to help her. Even though he doesn’t believe the I Timothy 5 passage includes divorced women, my pastor firmly believes that if there is such a woman who needs help of any kind, this would fall under the church helping those who are of the household of faith. He says that even though she is not a widow, it is no excuse for the church not to help these women. He further states that helping a mother stay at home with her children is helping a sister in Christ to obey Scripture (Titus 2:3-5). My pastor preaches often that women are to be keepers at home, and he firmly holds that homeschooling is the best and safest mode of education for Christian children today. It is not just a lifestyle.

I personally feel that Bro. MacArthur’s teaching makes more sense than anything I have ever heard. I am so thankful for the teachings of my pastor too, because it has opened a family member’s eyes even further to our needs and the honorable ministry of a mother. Seeing God work in my life opened this heart first while I tried to faithfully obey God despite the circumstances, but the teachings have help solidify it and give even more respect from this person. Godly stay at home moms are not lazy and selfish. They are serving the Lord just as much as a pastor or missionary is in their callings. We desperately need teaching like this in our churches today.

God has taught me so many things over my adult years, but even more during these years as a single mom. I’m so grateful for the lessons the Lord has taught me, even though it meant going through some very hard times. One big thing the Lord has taught me is to look to Him for help and not other people. I believe with all my heart that Christians should help mothers to stay at home with their children, especially single mothers, and also to help them homeschool them. I believe that rearing children, no matter their ages, is the real ministry that God has for mothers. Children thrive when they have godly mothers to spend their days with. The public schools are just about completely given over to the devil, and churches ought to try to keep these innocent little ones out of there. If they don’t help them now, they may end up trying to undo all these things when the teenager is in big trouble and the family is in a mess. Over and over again in personal situations during the last couple of years, I have seen how Christian kids are being polluted in public schools. Some of it is unbelievable. I believe that souls are literally at stake. Children’s eternity is at stake. Heaven or hell.

But there will be people who will disappoint you, because they don’t share these convictions. Perhaps it has never occurred to them what a single mother and her children go through. Before I was a single mother, I never gave it any thought. When it happened to me, God sent people in my former church and also outside my congregation to be so good and kind to me until I could get on my feet. They blessed me in countless ways. I have also been very hurt at times when I felt let down by others. But God has proven over and over again that if I’m doing what He says to do, He will provide for me and my children, and He will protect us when it seems we have no one to cover us. He has made rivers in the desert and provided miracles when there was no hope nor human help possible. God has shown me that I need to depend on Him and not others, even though others should certainly help. He has shown that He is orchestrating everything in my life, even huge disappointments and losses. He has shown me that He has a great reason when He closes every door. He never takes anything away without giving something far better. I wish I could go back to certain times and just lean on Him instead of becoming desperate, clutching and clawing my way out of the pit.

If you are struggling, I want to encourage you to go to God the Father with all your needs and wait on Him. It is very hard and can be very terrifying, I know. I’ve been there and still struggle with it. Times are so much easier for me now then they were in the beginning, but I have moments where I scared and worried. If you have never read the biography of George Mueller, you simply must! Mr. Mueller ran an orphanage in Britain, but never advertised his needs. He simply prayed. On many occasions there would be no food on the table, but Mr. Mueller would simply pray, thanking God for the food, and someone would show up at the door. That’s what I call real faith! God hands are the hands of His people, and He works through them to minister to us, but we should go straight to Him in the utmost confidence. After all, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills! He owns the universe, and He can provide us with ANYTHING! People will disappoint you, or may not even notice your needs, but God never will. I have found that I may not be able to convince people to believe like me, but God will send people that do believe in the same way and will provide through them. Just go straight to the top and talk to the One who owns it all!

I will be linking to some outside resources in the next post.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

Posted under Biblical Womanhood, Homeschooling, Single Mothers
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There has been a lot of things that have happened to me that I never dreamed would happen- good things and bad things. The good things are the ones I am so overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord for showing His lovingkindness to me. I still can’t get over the fact that I have three daughters. I so wanted my oldest to have a sister because I never had one. God gave her two! I cannot believe I have such a beautiful home in the country to live in, with the kindest, most generous, most protective landlords there ever was. I cannot hardly believe that I’m still a stay-at-home mother after more than 6 years of being single. There are countless little things and big things God has done for us.

I have also learned to be thankful for the bad, because they are an opportunity for God to do a miracle. They are opportunities for me to grow as a person and as a Christian. Furthermore, when I think of the problems other people have, I’m thankful for the ones I have, as I don’t think I could handle what they do.

As a single mom, when problems overwhelm, often I feel very vulnerable, unprotected, and uncared for. It’s something that only other single mothers can identify with. It’s like being a little child, with no parents to take care of things and make it alright. I can feel really scared sometimes. While I know other women experience these feelings on other levels, it’s so very different as a single mother. There are dynamics involved that one cannot realize unless experiencing it. At these times, I have to remember all that the Lord has done for me and trust that He will work it all out. It’s easier said than done when there are no options at all. Others may have money in savings to take care of unexpected emergencies. Some have credit cards to fall back on. Some have parents with plenty of money. Some have no options at all and only have their Father in Heaven to hear them. But are we really trusting in God when we have options to fall back on?

I was very upset earlier, so thought I’d get these words written down to encourage others. I am the one who has been encouraged and calmed.

A lovely post about suffering gracefully at Lady of Blessing’s Blog: I have returned
HT: Cherish the Home

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

Posted under Christianity, Single Mothers
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I have not posted a while for many reasons, but life is good, although there are challenges and struggles every day. Some are bigger than others, of course, but the Lord honestly helps us with every one of them.

My father is doing great since a major heart attack in August. We are thankful for that and hope for his continued health. Thanks to every one of you who have prayed for him.

Our homeschooling year is off to a good start. I am excited about our plans for this year. Before our new year started, I didn’t know how teaching my girls homemaking would fit in with all the other schoolwork I felt like they needed to do. The Lord brought some things to mind so that I could work it out. The girls have been loving the new schedule. I am excited that I can give them a good education, while giving them a good background in homemaking. They may or may not attend college- that is their choice to make-, but I’d like them to be prepared for that if they choose to do so. I have taught my daughters that a woman’s primary occupation should be in her home (Titus 2:3-5) and want them to be able to do it well, but I also want them to pursue some sort of business that will allow them to work from home, if needed, if they get married.

My Beloved bought me the Homeschool Tracker software, which is a blessing to me and makes record-keeping much easier. I’m still learning to operate the software though! If you know of any single mothers that homeschool their children and are wondering how you can bless her, giving this software would be very welcome, I’m sure.

The weather is cooler, which is wonderful. I’m so grateful that the Lord made the four seasons, because each one brings change and new things. The leaves in the woods are turning colors, although they are not vibrant and beautiful like in other parts of the country, unless it gets usually cold here. The woods are filled with goldenrod, brown-eyed Susans, and other tiny yellow flowers that I don’t know the name for. I have always wanted to live in a place where I could pick the Susans, so now I have all I want. They look so lovely in simple Mason jars.

We have gotten our first long-desired DVD set of The Waltons. We have dearly enjoyed sitting and watching episode after episode. I feel that good wholesome movies and TV shows are just as worthy of collecting as are good books. Just watching Olivia Walton and Caroline Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie as they cares for their homes and families greatly encourages me.

I have finally gotten into a good habit of walking at least 30 minutes, 5-6 days a week. I have set paths through the woods and around the pond behind our house. I bring my digital camera every time in case I find something that needs its picture taken. Bringing my camera keeps me from getting discouraged with my walking and helps me be sure to make time for it every day. We have seen lots of deer tracks lately. We often pass holes on the ground, in hills and in tree bottoms, and wonder who lives there. I have not lost any weight, but I am seeing other benefits of my walking, so I want to keep on.

Our pastor preached today on Matthew 7 and judging others. We are never to judge others’ motives, even when they are doing something that we question, because we honestly cannot know their hearts. (Sometimes we don’t even know our own motives.) We are never to judge people by their appearance. We are to judge by the Bible, calling sin “sin” in the church. But even that is to be done with all meekness and gentleness (Gal. 6). We are to be critical thinkers of the Word, but not critical people.

I was privileged to be able to participate in a teleconference called “How Do You Do It All?”, about balancing family with a home business. It was presented by Mary Jo Tate, a single homeschooling mother of four boys. I have been blessed, encouraged, and challenged like never before. I don’t feel as overwhelmed and am so excited about how the techniques I’ve learned will better my family and make my business much more profitable. The teleconference will be made available for purchase later on if you are interested. Mary Jo has lived it and knows what works. Her conference is worth every penny.

May you have a blessed week in the Lord.

Some images above are from my personal collection. Please do not use without permission.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

Posted under Homemaking, Homeschooling, Life at Hidden Pines, Simplicity, Single Mothers
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I wanted to share my testimony of how I became a stay-at-home mom and offer encouragement if you’d like to come home, too. I’m in no way trying to condemn anyone!

I was saved at an early age and grew up in a Christian home, where we went to church often. I attended a Christian school for four years (eighth-eleventh grade) and public schools the remaining years. Between the church, the school, and Christian camp once a year, I had the opportunity to hear some of the best preachers of our generation. The Word of God and the fear of God was deeply engrained into my heart and being. I am so thankful for all of that!

One thing I don’t remember ever hearing, though, was the teaching of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, which tells women what God wants for their lives. Finding out what God wanted for your career and going to a Christian college was pushed very heavily. I graduated with honors (fifth in my class of 250), but did not go to college because of a lack of money. I worked as a cook, cashier, bookkeeper, a secretary, and a bank teller. When I was married, I continued working because it was expected of women. It was not something even thought about, just something that everyone did. My former husband and I found out quickly how stressful it was for me to try to keep up with the home and with my job as a bank teller. Although I loved my job and was very successful at it, I did not like the rat race of it, and, in all honestly, did not like the fact that I had two jobs- my paid one and the one at home. It was also stressful to him to help with the housework. In addition I was attending the local college. He decided that he would work and I would keep the house, a decision that I never regretted. It was not done as a conviction, but because it worked well for us. I also quit college after finishing a year.

About a year later, I got pregnant with my first daughter. Being at home I was able to listen to a lot of Christian radio, where I first heard of homeschooling and felt like that was what God wanted me to do. After she was born, I was very alone much of the time, up most of the night caring for her in those first few weeks. I spent a lot of time nursing her and listening to the radio all throughout the days and nights of her first few months. It was then I heard Elisabeth Elliot’s teachings on Titus 2 and mothers at home. Although my mother never worked, I had never heard it verbally articulated from the Bible as to why it was important, and also very possible in this day and time, for mothers to be at home with their children. For the first time I developed a biblical conviction about being home with my children and making a home for my family.

Seven years later I worked outside the home for about five months after my husband and I separated, but quickly saw my family and my home falling apart without me. My children were getting unruly because I was just too tired to deal with them, even though I worked part time. Again, I loved my job as bookkeeper and was extremely successful, but I saw how desperately my children needed me, especially after a divorce situation. I prayed earnestly for the Lord to allow me to work from home, and, within a week, God had answered and I was opening up a home day care. Even though it seemed impossible for someone like me in an impossible situation, God answered and made a way.

Even though my children are not small anymore (they are 14, 11, and 10), I still believe my children need me more than ever as they go through the “teen years.” I have been told that “you used to be so smart” and other things like that in relation to the fact that I’m not working outside the home now, and it has been painful to me to realize that some think I’m wasting my talents. I personally believe that investing one’s life into the lives of others is a worthwhile and noble effort; how much more if it is your family?

About two weeks ago, the following quote was in our Sunday School book:

“The most important occupation on the earth for a woman is to be a real mother to her children. It does not have much glory in it; there is a lot of grit and grime. But there is no greater place of ministry, position, or power than that of a mother.” (Phil Whisenhunt, quoted in The Remarkable Women of the Bible by Elizabeth George, p. 84.)

Someone in our class said that she had worked when her children were at home and she regretted it. She said that she just thought she “had to”, but now knows that she did not really have to, that she had a choice. If any of you ladies want to be at home, ask God to do it for you, and, I promise you, He will. If a single mother can do it by God’s provision and grace, then anyone can. He is still a miracle worker today! People ask sometimes how I make it, and I can honestly say, it’s been the Lord providing through various means and many miracles. God’s people have been enormously generous and kind to us throughout the years also. It may take some time for things to work out and will probably take a lot of sacrifice, but it will be worth it all. Mothering is a true ministry, just as much as any ministry in the local church, and our Lord will reward you greatly in Heaven, and you’ll see much fruit on earth. For additional reading, I reccomend you to browse through the articles at Homeliving Helper. Theses ladies are much more articulate than I and offer much encouragement.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

Posted under Christianity, Encouraging Quotes, Homemaking, Mothering, Recommended Reading, Single Mothers
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We are living in a time when worldly behavior has spread into the Church, and is growing. One way to fight against it is by not becoming a part of a fellowship that embraces the Truth so loosely, although it still seems to sneak in while we are not looking.

Divorce is something that affects all or us. We may either know someone who is in the process of separation and divorce, or you may have experienced it yourself, either as a Christian or when you were an unbeliever. The unfortunate thing is that even if you are a firm believer that marriage is “‘til death do us part,” divorce can happen to the best of us; because while divorce slipped into the Church, so did all the perverted sins of the world that often causes it.

In an attempt to hold a high view of marriage, Christians often react negatively to those who divorce, regardless of the reason for the divorce. Some classify all divorce as great sin and all who are divorced as great sinners. The divorced are often denied church membership, encouraged to leave the church, gossiped about, or they are quietly ignored until they leave on their own. This topic is the seed that has grown in me to a point of wanting to write about it. I hate divorce and I hold God’s standards for marriage, but have found myself as having great compassion for the families who have gone through it or are considering it.

Sometimes Christians react to the word divorce as they would if someone yelled, “Snake!” They either leap away in fear, or attack the source of the threat. But if someone tells you she is planning to divorce, please be sure you really understand all that is happening in her life before you respond. The roots of marital conflict go very deep, and can be very destructive, and it is wrong to make quick judgments about who is “guilty” and who is “innocent” in a divorce when we cannot see the complete picture. Some situations may seem very clear, such as when one spouse has had an affair. Certainly, there is a distinction to be made between those who wrongfully initiate a divorce and those who are forced into it by a faithless mate. But in nearly all cases a deeper, more careful look will reveal years of complex, negative interaction leading up to the present trouble. Judging another person’s life and problems can be very shortsighted and is in no way helpful to them. I believe in the proverb that says, “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”

Rather than immediately reacting negatively to the word divorce, you would be wise to listen to her carefully. Follow the directive in James 1:19 to “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Besides knowing what the scriptures teach, even when there has been physical, emotional or sexual abuse involved, don’t merely base your understanding on a few isolated verses. Pray that God will draw very close to them as they sort through their dilemma. If she has sincerely sought to honor the Lord in making her decision, respect her, even though you might personally disagree with her choice of action. However, if she is willfully disobeying the Lord, hold firmly to God’s standard and tell her that she has made a wrong choice. Even then, balance your opposition to her decision with compassion and love.

We are called to “overcome evil with good.” Continue to be a friend. You can be God’s servant in your friend’s life. It’s what I believe God would have you do.

by Donna Martin of Kindred Spirits
A ministry of Kindred Spirits Journal &
www.biblicalwomanhood.org

“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4,5

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Printed by permission.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

Posted under Christianity, Single Mothers
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