Ma sighed. She was ashamed of the untidy house, and so was Laura. But Ma was too weak and Laura was too tired and they were too sad to care very much.
–By the Shores of Silver Lake
The last 13 months have been so stressful, so crazy, with one thing right after the other happening. The normal stresses of life are hard, but are compounded when one is a single mother. And then we’ve had extra stresses that made it so much harder. We’ve gone through two sudden deaths of cousins my age, lost two dogs—one to death and a new dog we had to give up—, worried through ongoing health problems with my oldest daughter—something new always comes up—, and experienced new health problems with my other girls and for me. We had the car wreck with the total loss of our vehicle, two of us got down with the flu, we dealt with serious family issues, job losses, job stresses, and financial changes and losses. I’ve experienced changes as a mother—seeing my oldest daughter working two jobs and being gone from home so much, and seeing my middle daughter working and being gone more than she is home. It’s been hard seeing them leave the house. I’ve missed them so, but would never hold them back. There was extreme stress preparing for my middle daughter’s high school graduation. We are still being treated for injuries from the car wreck. The girls have gotten better, but I have had some relapse.
There were good things, too. We were not seriously injured in the wreck and no one lost their life. We were able to pay cash for a good used van with the money from the wreck and my income tax refund. We had been praying for a van for a long time. We found my mother’s brother’s long lost relatives on Facebook. We found out details about my mom’s other brother who died in a plane crash coming home from serving in our military. My daughters got really good jobs. My middle daughter graduated.:) In times I most needed it, God sent love and compassion from others. Once a lady working at our health food store unexpectedly asked if she could pray for me. I didn’t even know her. She took me by the hand and prayed aloud right there in the store. Most of all, I have experienced God’s grace over and over again. The phrase from the hymn Be Still My Soul, “In every change, He faithful will remain” has echoed over and over in my mind over the last few weeks.
After the wreck, I was in such shock, but full of thanksgiving for God’s protection. The song 10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) filled my soul and continues to do so. I cry when I sing the lyrics,
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.
I want so much to praise the Lord no matter what happens in my life.
This has been the first summer in a long time where we have had a long summer school break. The last few weeks, I’ve been trying to decompress and catch up on things. My house has been sorely neglected with all we’ve been through. July is an extremely busy month with tons of birthdays, so it’s not been quiet this month.:) I still plug on, holding onto my Saviour and treasuring His precious Book.